It’s been a long time since I posted! Really busy nowadays to post stuff, find much more enjoyment to read what others have to write. LOL! Since my last post it has been two years already. Time really waits for no one.

Funny how parents will use to tell their children that next time when they grow up they would have more time at their hands to do what they want? Amazing how I find that is contrary to the case? It's harder to find free time and also to do things that I want to do as compared when I was in secondary school etc. It has been many years since then!

Was reflecting awhile back on the things I could have done in life to make things better i.e. react less rashly, it would have made things less awkward / think before I act / plan my time properly so I am able to complete my assignments or responsibilities etc. Do you ever go through such a phase?

Or sometimes there are those times when you stop to reflect thinking that maybe there is more to life? I mean we all know at some point in life that we all only live once. Is this how we want our life to be? To just wake up go school come home sleep. Next day, it’s the same drill. After the age of schooling we go on to working life, wake up work come home sleep. Next day, the same thing happens again. Yes, no doubt these processes let us meet people, we learn new things. However, what is our rightful path in life? How about the path less taken? How have the constellations mapped out our fate?

Sometimes I feel trapped. I wonder if this is the real me because I know I can be so much more. By this I mean in the schooling context, I can score better grades yet I am just scoring average marks. At the work department, maybe I have the capabilities to be promoted, to initiate new things. While dancing I could be a star! But I’m only doing the bare minimum. I believe I have the capabilities to be greater, yet what is holding me back? You know the old adage “the sky’s the limit” yet what exactly is the limit we set for ourselves?

I conclude to say perhaps it is to only reflect, revise and revisit what I have done each day to accumulate the resources to make myself a better person. After all, it is to be proud and answerable to myself when it is time to lie in that snug coffin and know the lives I have touched and made a difference. The continual part of me passed on to the next generation to bring a greater good. It doesn’t have to be a noble cause to be considered a greater good, it can be a mere helping hand; good deeds accumulated etc.

However, until then, it could be more practical to think about what exactly is holding me back from the way I want to flourish?

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Omggg... I don’t know what I’ve been doing for the past week or so. I should have been super prepared by now, tomorrow's the paper. Omg. I don’t know how I am even going to pass the paper. I can’t even do the simple questions for the revision paper he gave us to try. I’m done for. Looks like I’m going to stay back for one more semester because I failed all the tests. Shit. I should have worked harder. Die. DIE.

Somebody save me.

I was sitting in the kitchen when I heard a fluttering sound; the beating of wings. To my horror, it was a COCKROACH. It was the middle of the night and everyone was sleeping in the house. I had no one to help me and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere, the kitchen. Hurriedly ran to find the insecticide.

IT WAS WAR.

Well, no really, since I was half blind because I didn’t have my spectacles on. Furthermore, the cockroach DAMN SMART, it kept its place at the sliding gap in the kitchen. Both were black! KNS how to identify which was the insect!!?!? So anyways, I didn’t care because I was too scared to run back to my room so I just anyhow sprayed. BEST part was that the wind was so strong, the LETHAL mist didn’t manage to reach the stupid roach and in turn it was blown off course to the towel hanging on the chair!?!

SOOOO

I resorted to calling people; (at that point in time it didn’t occur to me that I should just shout for help) I called my brother and my mom. “The SingTel mobile customer you have called is currently unavailable” WAH LAO... called someone to talk to cause my heart has already flipped like a hundred times, and the person was half asleep, so didn’t help much, I hung up. AND SO I DECIDED...

THIS HAS TO END.

Screamed at the top of my lungs for my mom, she came out and she asked what happened, I said, “COCKROACH!!!!” HAHAHA funny part was that she reacted quite fast for someone half awake; HAHAHA she moved back so quickly because she thought it was near her. BUT NOO, it’s nearer to me. My dad came to the rescue and I got scolded... passed him the insecticide and i ran for cover. Scrambled to the room with my belongings and locked the door (as if the roach knew how to knock)

SO YESS...

I NOW KNOW...

I have one more thing to add to my list for a perfect house, besides the need to have a good bed, good toilet bowl, and flushing system. The need for the house not to be cockroach infested or any type of pest infestation is vital!!!

Omg... one more week till exams... I seriously need to get down to studying. Die man. Its 9.57pm and I haven’t started anything. Had finance lecture today and it’s supposed to be exam revision. The lecturer (mind you he’s a super nice man) didn’t even revise anything. He just said “everything can be found online; please download and do; if you don’t know how to do you can come and find me next week”.

I was hoping so much that he would give some tips on where to focus and everything. Omg. Waste of time to go for lecture la. Zzz. Super scared for exams. It’s like every subject also damn weak? This is torture seriously. But hey, I guess I believe the part where everyone says studying is much better than working. Way better.

The lecturer spent the whole time going through one particular exam paper and A.MI.GO. I totally didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Then he went on to conclude that this is what a basic finance student should be able to do. LOL. I think I’m not a finance student, can die.

Anyways, time to study already, or ill have to repeat the entire semester. I cannot see myself going down that path...

5 subjects to master in one week...

Woke up late which then had a chain reaction to my being late for school. Got into a cab and demanded the driver to reach to school before 9. The funny thing was that he was actually nice enough to rush to school for me. I drove at 140km and you know taxis always have this screen that tells them where to pick up customers, the screen kept screaming drive carefully. LOL!! It was flashing non-stop in red. LOL!! Then it started to jam. Sigh. Well here’s the funny part. This friend of the driver called him (he had the same phone as me) so yes, he picked up the phone and he started to chatter away.

I didn’t mean to listen to his conversation but it was hilarious. He spoke in fluent Hokkien, but amazingly I understood?! HAHAHAAH… SO HERE’S HIS CONVERSATION.

Driver: hey, what’s up?

Driver: I’m sending someone to Ang Mo Kio

Driver: Ya sure, anytime, if I can’t find any customers. I got out of the house today at 6.

Driver: EH now my English pro hor. I go the bank can speak in English to them lor! Your English leh. Confirm lousy.

Driver: okay, let me ask you some English words. How to say nei jiu (it actually means guilty) in English

Driver: kns! What feel bad!?! I know the words one but I forgot what it is. LOLOL!! FEEL BAD. AHAH okok I got some more. How to say ji du (envy).

Driver: HAHAHAH WHAT I LIKE?! I think the word is admire?!?  No I think its envy.

Driver: E-N-V-Y. You know envy? HAAHAH BET YOU DUNNO. Eh okay need to go.

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.